i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
