dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
