That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize