You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
