She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
