We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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