i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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