How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
