please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
