Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
