I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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