Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
