At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
