I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
