Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
