she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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