He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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