I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
