12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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