Pregnant stripper...not hot.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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