It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
