so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
sarcasm needs its own font
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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