if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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