Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize