I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
