We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i came on her dog
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize