Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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