I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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