"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
