so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
