That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i now understand why vodka
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
