drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We talked him into tasing himself.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
