I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize