Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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