I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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