due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
