i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
