I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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