so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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