I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
