So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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