Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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