i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
