omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I am available for nakedness
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
