I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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