You really coming over, don't trick.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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