They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
