a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize