why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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