spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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