I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What a fucking waste of an outfit
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
