I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Watching her eat just hurts me
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
