i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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