It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
