I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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