you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
