He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
