We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Randomize
