she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
