I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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