if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
