End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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