Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
the liver wants what the liver wants
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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