so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
